NESTA AHARONI: Parade lesson: Graciousness and courtesy enhance this city
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Nesta Aharoni
I can't imagine living anywhere else at this time in my life. I am old enough to recognize what is truly important, and Bakersfield offers me those things in abundance. For example, I want to live amid kindness and grace, and you reveal those qualities to me every day. Your December Christmas parade is my exhibit one.
I arrived to my new city in October, and in early December I was still feeling the newness of it all. I was excited to attend the parade and hang out with the local population. I was eager to discover if I would fit in. My husband and I brought folding chairs and staked a claim about three rows back from the curb, careful not to intrude on space that belonged to the indigenous people.
As the parade promenaded down our street, with music jingling and floats mingling, I was energized by the enthusiasm of the crowd. I waved zealously at every participant and smiled broadly at every horse, mule, and dog.
We were surrounded by families with children of all ages -- newborns, toddlers, preteens and teens. The parade attendance was just as it should have been. But I have to admit, I was a little wary. You see, I harbored memories of unruly children -- and adults -- rudely blocking my view on previous occasions, indifferent to my presence. It didn't take long, though, for my guardedness to transform into awe at the graciousness and courtesy of my new neighbors -- young and old.
First, a dad sitting directly in front of us rose to a standing position in order to care for his baby. In one graceful movement, he reached for his child and turned his head toward my husband and me. With concern on his face, he apologized for blocking our view and ensured us the inconvenience would be temporary. After we replied that the needs of his baby came first, my husband and I stared at each other in disbelief. "Did he just apologize to us for standing up to take care of his baby?" Wow! Suddenly, I was infused with Christmas spirit.
Second, the man to our left stood up and leaned forward, obviously searching for something or someone. He sheepishly turned to my husband and me and expressed discomfort at blocking our view, "but my daughter is coming! She is part of the so-and-so float. She has been practicing hard for this event, and we are so proud of her." As we joined in his pride in his daughter's accomplishments, he went on to tell us about her success in school and her lovely personality. Suddenly, I felt like part of the family, the Bakersfield family, and I gushed with him at the thrill of seeing my new relation marching by.
Third, someone on a float tossed candy to the crowd. There was no way my husband or I could get close enough to grab any, but we watched in amusement as a young parade-goer snatched several pieces. Before he enjoyed one lick of his prize, he turned to my husband and me and offered us part of his pickings. Remarkable! It was extraordinary enough that he offered to share his candy with strangers, but it was even more so that he did it so naturally and effortlessly. "These people are the real deal," I thought -- "gracious and courteous, unassuming and genuine. These are the people I want to live among."
My observations were reinforced during a recent trip to Dewar's. The quality of the ice cream and candy aside, your kindness and sociability followed us through the door and to our table. We had no idea we were supposed to pull a number -- until a wonderful woman approached us and instructed us on Dewar's protocol. We were grateful to her because how long can you sit at an ice cream parlor without eating ice cream? What she had done was nice enough, but she didn't stop there. She adopted us. She checked on us three more times during our visit to make sure we knew how to order, what was good (the black and white), and how to buy "chews."
Candy, ice cream, and parades are sweet, but they are no match to your graciousness toward newcomers and strangers. I have never felt more at home than I do in Bakersfield.
Nesta Aharoni of Bakersfield is the author of "My Goodness: My Kids: Cultivating Decency in a Dangerous World" and the owner of Character Building Counts Book Awards, an organization that rewards books that deliver a character-building message (www.CBCAwards.com).
