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Martinez column: With e-mail like this, who needs enemies?
| Wednesday, Dec 26 2007 5:40 PM
Last Updated: Thursday, Dec 27 2007 8:39 AM
One of the best things about being a local columnist -- beside the deep respect, numerous perks and exorbitant pay -- is reading my e-mail.
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Most readers who respond to my columns have pretty strong opinions. It may be hard to believe, but some agree with me. Others are ready to call for an exorcist to cast out the demon of liberalism (never mind that I'm pretty moderate on most things).
The messages are usually polite, but sometimes they get personal, lobbing slurs, profanities and/or insults. Trying to have a reasonable discussion with these folks would be a waste of time. You can either get mad and kick the dog -- which would be inadvisable in my case because he's a 120-pound Rottweiler named Gordo -- or poke fun at them.
So about once a year I strap on the muck-proof hip boots and siphon all the crud from my in-box, publishing a few of the most interesting comments I received during the last 12 months, along with my profound analysis.
I know you'll be stunned, but some of the angriest responses I get are about ethnic issues and immigration. After I wrote a column saying that criticism of the Mexican holiday of Dia de los Muertos stemmed from ethnic bias and ignorance, one gentleman sent the following e-mail:
"Leave your Mexican trash in Mexico along with all your illegal alien criminal Mexicans. We are tired and fed up with all things Mexican."
And I blamed it on ethnic bias and ignorance. What was I thinking?
After I pointed out that conservative commentators like CNN's Lou Dobbs and political pundit Pat Buchanan use language that's similar to that of the long-established hate groups, a reader sent this e-mail:
"Be kind to Lou. He may well be our next president. You don't get it Leonel. We just hate Mexicans. They are really ugly looking people!"
This is incisive analysis at its finest, and it's absolutely correct. I am ugly. But upon reviewing Dobbs' extensive files on every Mexican in the U.S., I can assure you that they're not all homely. Only me.
A column that said Republicans are losing Latino support because of their immigration rhetoric drew this voice mail from a woman who left no name or telephone number.
"I just want to say that you love illegal immigrants. What's wrong with you, man?"
Well, ma'am, the idealistic Jewish guy who founded my religion says we're supposed to love even our enemies. I'm pretty lousy at it, and don't like the commandment any more than you do, but I'm sure he'd be ticked if I didn't at least try.
After I wrote a column on the assimilation of Latino immigrants in the U.S., an anonymous reader generously offered this tongue-in-cheek (I hope) advice.
"I think a good idea would be to silence these questions (like yours) by just slicing off some Mexican heads (like yours) to mount on poles in the local mall parking lot."
You should probably check with the District Attorney's office on the legality of forcible decapitation, but aside from that, my head would just drive people away.
Didn't I tell you I was ugly?
Leonel Martinez's column appears every other Thursday. Readers may send comments or suggestions to lmartinez@bakersfield.com or leave a voice mail at 395-7631.