VALERIE SCHULTZ: Kindness, love, compassion &softReturn;are byproducts of nurturing
| Friday, Sep 16 2011 06:10 PM
Last Updated Friday, Sep 16 2011 06:11 PM
Our small town has only one Catholic parish. It is, however, home to more than thirty Christian churches, many of which sponsor children's programs that emphasize the memorization of Bible verses. The students are rewarded with badges and prizes for the correct recitation of chapter-and-verse passages. Over the years, my children were invited to attend these programs, by friends who would earn points by bringing in fresh, ready-to-be-converted youngsters. I never let them attend. There was no way any child of mine was going to become a catch for these fishers of ex-Catholics. (Yes, I was being a Catholic snob, and in retrospect guilty of both narrow-mindedness and overprotectiveness.) But the invitations made my children wonder why their religious education teachers did not make them memorize Psalm 23 or John 3:16.
OK, that last one I got from the stands of football games, from the guy in the rainbow clown wig. But if you are a cradle Catholic, you understand my point: The typical course of our catechesis does not run to Bible trivia games. We Catholics are often ignorant, if not of what the Bible says, then definitely the location in which it says it. We tend to distrust those whose tongues glibly roll out the chapter and verse of whatever Biblical phrase they are using to prove their point.
But there is one Bible passage whose numbers I know by heart: Matthew 25.
"When the Son of Man comes in his glory ... he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats, and he will put the sheep at his right hand and the goats at the left. Then the king will say to those at his right hand, 'Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.' Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink? ... And the king will answer them, 'Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.'" (Mt 25:31-37, 40)
The king then condemns the goats for not performing any of the deeds we call the corporal works of mercy.
When I taught Confirmation classes, I used to tell my students that, if they left the class with only one memorized Bible number -- Matthew 25 -- in their heads and in their hearts, I would feel that I'd done my job, because this account of the sheep and the goats contains just about everything needed to live the Golden Rule. This story, which does not appear in the other Gospels, encapsulates all that Jesus urges us to do, now that the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand. Coming on the heels of a chewing-out of the Pharisees and scribes -- six paragraphs in Matthew 23 (13-36) which begin with the ominous warning, "Woe to you!" -- the sheep and the goats are distinguished by what they have done or not done. They are not separated by piety or good intentions or societal standing or whether they were baptized, but by the good they did.
I believe, after nearly 29 years of mothering, that there are no "random" acts of kindness. Contrary to the bumper sticker saying, I believe that every act of kindness springs from a deep well of mercy, even if it is unconscious. Perhaps a certain predisposition in certain people comes from nature, but I believe kindness is mostly the result of nurturing. An unformed, unconditioned spirit tends to be self-protective. The decision to look out for another, weaker, less fortunate neighbor comes from a well-formed, educated conscience. It may feel like second nature, but it is not. It is a higher, compassionate nature, one that parents are called to awaken and nourish in their children.
As parents, there are essential questions we must answer: how do we follow the path of Matthew 25 and still be a part of a culture of fun and gratification; how are we, as St. Paul says, not to be "conformed to this world, but ... transformed"? (Rom 12:2) How do we teach the values of Christ's justice and peace while living in a capitalist, competitive society? What is the healthy mix of God and our real, everyday lives? Can practicality and inspiration coexist? What makes our children embrace our values or rebel against them? We are faced with huge questions. We send up our questions like prayers, like incense, and then we take a deep breath and have a little faith that God will indeed reveal to us, in creative and unexpected ways, the answers.
The world can be an awful place, full of tragedy and despair and bad luck. The world can chew us up, spit us out, roll us in mud, break our bones, wound our spirit. On the other hand, the world can be a place of joy and warmth and indescribable beauty. The world can affirm us, comfort us, challenge us, support our lives, lift up our souls. But the world is what we make it, through public policy and private morals. What the world needs, from us and from our children, as the song says, is love. Sweet love. More: active love. Decisions based on love, and bathed in God's light. A society whose mission and legacy is love.
As parents, this is our sacred trust. This is our job.
These are the opinions of Valerie Schultz and not necessarily The Californian Valerie Schultz contributing columnist
