Robert Price: Advice for would-be politicians
| Saturday, Feb 28 2009 08:52 PM
Last Updated Friday, Mar 27 2009 01:02 PM
I don't think Schwinn Green is his real name, so you'll probably never see any of his short, odd letters published in this newspaper. Same goes for his brother Huffy.
I'm making an exception for Schwinn today, though, because I so admired the letter of tongue-in-cheek outrage he recently fired off to Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger. He was good enough to copy us here at the paper:
"Dear Governor: I will support the Pet Responsibility Act when (the) spay and neuter (requirement) applies to all our politicians ..."
Politicians, like stray dogs, tend to run in packs. Schwinn clearly grasps this, if I properly read his No. 1 stated concern: overpopulation. The problem was never more obvious than during this winter's budget stalemate, with polarized-to-the-point-of-paralysis legislators tugging on the same piece of meat for three excruciating months. We simply cannot allow them to continue reproducing.
Which is why I had mixed feelings when I was invited to sit on a panel with two other media-types for the Bakersfield Chamber of Commerce's annual Candidates' Clinic a couple of weeks ago. We were asked to give prospective candidates advice on how to best deal with TV, radio and newspaper interviewers.
What, you might ask — already?We're not even close to an even-yeared November. Alas, the election cycle never ends. Some candidates (the smart ones) are already courting influential endorsers.
Instinctively, I wanted to say: Stick to honest work — then you won't have to deal with reporters at all. Serve your community in a way that doesn't involve spending tens of thousands of other people's donated dollars. In a way that doesn't involve spinning your answer to avoid the question. But it was too late for those people. Most were already in too deep.
So I told the truth. Here it is, broken into two broad areas of importance.
* Pay your taxes.That was the laugh line of the night, coming as it did on the heels of sheepish withdrawals by three of Barack Obama's would-be Cabinet-level secretaries. One withdrawal is an oversight, two a humiliation. What's three?
But the embarrassment principle applies to all areas of citizenship, not just taxes.
So, take a cue from Caroline Kennedy and vote in every single election, even the boring ones, or have a good reason (like an extended coma) why you didn't.
Get right with the DMV while you're at it. Learn from the local candidate who blew a lead in the polls a few years ago after a records check revealed three drunken-driving convictions and extended periods driving without a license.
Bankruptcies don't help. If you've filed more than twice in your life, don't even think about running for office. But if you've had seven bankruptcies, using different versions of your name, as 2002 and 2004 Assembly candidate Dean Gardner did, go ahead and go for it — you're qualified to make the leap directly to Congress.
* Tell the truth.If you don't know the answer to a reporter's question or haven't fully formulated an opinion on an issue, just say so. Really. Just don't say it too often, and don't say it at all if it's an issue you really ought to know inside and out. But on late-breaking or peripheral issues, don't be afraid to say you'll get back to the reporter. Just make sure you follow through. Taking a mulligan beats lying or obvious tap-dancing.
Be willing to answer the toughest questions before reporters get around to asking them. Obama took that approach by admitting to some past drug use. It might have cost him some votes, but it inoculated him against the gotcha stories that surely would have come along.
Besides, the cover-up usually gets you in more trouble than the initial sin. Ask Bill Clinton or Martha Stewart about that.
That's it. Be a conscientious citizen and be truthful. Simple. Of course, most of the people we send to Sacramento arrive with glowing reputations in those areas, too, and look what they turn into. Makes you want to take ol' Schwinn seriously.
What running-for-office tips did I leave out? E-mail Robert Price at rprice@bakersfield.com .
