HEATHER IJAMES: Make a resolution for family time, not gifts
| Friday, Dec 25 2009 12:00 PM
Last Updated Friday, Dec 25 2009 12:00 PM
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Felix Adamo / The Californian Heather Ijames
Our gift-giving season has come and gone, but I want to know: Do you really think the majority of those gifts will still be used and played with three, six, or even 12 months later? Especially the toys. Egad, all those toys.
As a parent of two young boys, I think I'm in a perfect position to fully understand the feeling of being taken over by small, plastic parts. Between birthdays, Christmas and doting grandparents, let me repeat: Egad, all those toys.
I recently rounded up two large boxes of toys to donate to an organization that distributes items to the poor, but to no avail. They said they had too many toys themselves -- through a plethora of donations -- and couldn't accept any more. First, let me say, way to go Bakersfield generosity! Second, if even a homeless shelter has too many toys, then have we missed the mark?
Yeah, I think we have.
Years ago, I heard an interview where a gentleman said his children were only allowed to have five toys at a time. When another birthday or Christmas rolled around, the children had the option to discard one of the five toys for a new one, or keep what they had and get a consumable item as their new gift.
That sounded good to me at the time, but I didn't follow through. Two closets full of crap -- I mean two closets full of toys -- and two trips to Lowe's to buy space-saving shelves later, I really wished I had followed through when I first heard that interview. Then when the charitable organization turned my boxes of toys away, I decided it was time to embrace the idea of consumable gifts. And I mean consumable in a whole different light than a descending tower of treats from Harry & David.
I'm talking about putting the brakes on tossing those plastic frills into your cart at the store, and purchase time with your family that will always matter.
Because I would never suggest you do anything that I do not do myself, I'll let you in on the BIG present my family opened this Christmas. Tickets. Tickets for the four of us to go to a show in Hollywood. When we go, it will be a full day affair. Grauman's Chinese Theater, Hollywood Walk of Fame, and then enough ice cream to pour forth from my sons' noses.
And even though my little guys would have preferred to open a toy that made a repetitive and piercing noise, a noise that makes mommy want to bang her head against a wall, I'm trying to be a good enough parent to realize their preference is only a temporal one. Because when it's all said and done, and my boys are grown men, I think there's a better chance they'll remember the time their parents took them to measure the size of their hands against Darth Vader's cement prints outside of Grauman's, than a toy they got and forgot on Christmas 2009.
And the best part -- I offer tongue and cheek -- is that I don't have to go back to Lowe's to buy a new shelf.
But seriously, I think it's time we buy children, grandchildren and even the tots down at the children's centers something that doesn't break, doesn't get old and means so much more than something made in China. We need to spend our money on a memory, an adventure, or on some time together with an adult that says, "You and me kid...we're in this life together. Today it's going to be you and me, not you and the toy."
I know toys are fun and they hold high value in the life of a child, but let's be honest when we say toys are also good at distracting kids. What are we trying to distract them from, though? From the assumption that because we can only relate to them in short bursts, we throw a toy at them instead of spending an afternoon together at a museum?
I'm not saying it'll be easy, and I know kids are designed to whine. Strike that -- kids today are designed to whine. (Maybe that's because they have too many toys.) But it's "big picture" time, and our world today needs "big picture" kind of people.
You have a few more days to ponder what your New Year's resolution will be. How about resolving to make one gift this upcoming year a date with a youngster in your life rather than giving them a toy?
-- Heather Ijames is one of four conservative community columnists whose work appears here every Saturday. These are the opinions of Ijames not necessarily The Californian's. You can e-mail her at hijames@bakersfield.com. Next week: Inga Barks.
