LOIS HENRY: They've been violent; now they need help
| Wednesday, Jan 18 2012 07:00 AM
Last Updated Wednesday, Jan 18 2012 11:47 AM
Listen to KERN 1180 AM from 9 to 10 a.m. Monday through Friday when Californian staffers discuss this issue and others. You can get your two cents in by calling 842-KERN. Lois Henry hosts every Wednesday. To listen to archived shows, visit www.bakersfield.com/CalifornianRadio.
Be a mentor
Garden Pathways needs about 20 men to volunteer to mentor other men convicted of domestic violence.
Each mentor will receive 10 hours of training and be expected to commit at least one hour a week for a year to their assignments.
If interested please call Garden Pathways at 633-9133.
People ask me all the time how they can get involved and make a difference in our community. Well, here's a doozy: Become a mentor to a wife beater.
Walk beside him, listen to his woes and show him a better way.
No easy task.
But imagine if you were the person who helped stop the violence for just one man. What an incredible legacy that would be.
Domestic violence is a constant and heavy drain on the criminal justice system.
In 2011, Bakersfield and Kern County law enforcement combined had more than 6,000 domestic violence calls for service and a total of nearly 3,000 arrests.
Stats weren't available to show how many of those were repeat offenders, but I'd wager it's a fairly high percentage.
Domestic violence is often a learned behavior that is deeply ingrained.
Which is where mentors could be very powerful as part of a larger overall batterer intervention course started under Garden Pathways last fall.
The course, called Breaking the Cycle, is taught by Nada Yorke, owner of Correctional Counseling of Change, and is certified by the Kern County Probation Department. Anyone convicted of domestic violence is ordered to take such courses for 52 weeks.
While Breaking the Cycle covers much of the same ground as other domestic violence courses, it has some key differences. It's free, it's faith-based, it offers free one-on-one counseling and, of course, it has the mentoring component.
Its initial success has Yorke and Garden Pathways Executive Director Kim Albers hoping for more grant funding down the road to keep it going. Right now it has money from a private local source for just one year.
The course started with 49 clients (most court-ordered but one or two who came on their own) and after the first 10 weeks it still has 44 attending religiously, Yorke said.
That kind of retention is unheard of.
"These guys are very eager and motivated," Yorke said. "They're hungry for change."
Yorke said her class isn't about letting the guys "lament about what's going on at home.
"We really engage them, do exercises and model positive communication skills and respect, ways we want them to treat their family members."
And, yes, they also stress accountability.
The men are really responding, Albers said.
"They're actually sharing what they're learning and applying it to their daily lives," based on feedback from the men's spouses and partners, according to Albers.
As they progress into the second phase of the program, Albers and Yorke said, the men need a helping hand outside the classroom setting.
Garden Pathways needs men, specifically, willing to do 10 hours of training and then commit to one hour a week for one year.
"We know there are plenty of men in our community who grew up in violent homes but had someone in their lives who showed them how to have healthy relationships," Albers said. "That's what these men need."
If anyone out there thinks, "Eh, not my problem," Albers and Yorke would remind you that the guys in this class have kids who go to school with your kids.
Since domestic violence is often handed down through generations, helping break the cycle isn't just for them, it's for all our future.
Maybe some day one of their sons will marry your daughter.
Think about it.
Opinions expressed in this column are those of Lois Henry, not The Bakersfield Californian. Her column appears Wednesdays and Sundays. Comment at http://www.bakersfield.com, call her at 395-7373 or email lhenry@bakersfield.com.
