Herb Benham: Leaving the surf for the turf is never easy
| Wednesday, Aug 26 2009 04:39 PM
Last Updated Wednesday, Aug 26 2009 04:41 PM
The beach.
I don't know how people stand it. Waves, sun, cool. Awful.
I couldn't wait to get home to Bakersfield.
"Why did you guys change the paper?" said Frank, at the pool, on my first day back. "My wife and I are about to get a divorce."
Frank. I thought we were friends. Being friends means questions about work are to be saved for the second week when I am through the vacation hangover.
Yes, vacation hangover. There is the hangover one experiences after a beer, two vodka tonics and four glasses of red wine and then there is the thudding realization that the sound of the waves crashing rhythmically on the shore has been replaced by the sirens barreling down 21st at 2 a.m.
I played 14 games of Scrabble with my wife -- one per day. Like most men, I am sensitive to the charge that "we never do anything together." That's not true. What we do together is you beat me in Scrabble 13 of 14 times.
I thought I had my second victory when I led off the game with "Borax" for 68 points. I was up 68-0. She might as well have handed in her tiles and gone back to her girl books. I'm not saying I was celebrating early but my cheeks hurt from blowing up the party balloons.
Then, the air came out of the balloons. Using the "Z," the "Q" and a couple of "K's" she proceeded to bury me by 150 points. I tried to remain civil, but it was hard. Getting crushed in Scrabble is like someone telling you, "Not only are you bad at games, but you're dumb too."
We watched "The Big Lebowski," with Thomas, our youngest, who came to Del Mar for a week. This is the cult favorite starring Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, and Steve Buscemi. I bought a bottle of Kahlua and a pint of cream and made White Russians, Bridges's signature drink in the movie.
Talk about a potential hangover. Drink too many of those and by 3 a.m., you'll be speaking Russian and your head will be hanging over the wrong end of the bed.
Vacation is simple. It doesn't take much to be happy. Lingering over coffee, reading a book and listening to the sea air play through the wind chimes. Taking a beating at Scrabble.
One week is good, two better. A month is retirement. After that, there is no rear-view mirror. You might as well start speaking Russian.
Last day. Time to pack up. Remember to take the phone chargers. It's easy to forgot those. Try to buy new ones and they probably won't be compatible.
Decision. What do you leave in the fridge for the next people? Three fingers of grape jelly. Nine garlic olives. Five slices of raisin bread.
How about ice cream? Everybody likes Cherry Garcia. Cherries picked over or not.
I said goodbye to Thomas, who returned to college for his sophomore year. He has that sophomore swagger. It's the, "I survived my freshman year, made friends and I'm half way to owning the place."
"The sea had morning sickness" the day we left. The current was strong to the north and the sea, in the space of a couple hours, changed from gray to dark blue, to brilliant green.
The wind was blowing out to sea. The current was moving to the north. We were going with it.
