Herb Benham

My Yahoo Print

Baby steps needed for new bifocals

| Monday, Oct 12 2009 10:03 PM

Last Updated Monday, Oct 12 2009 10:03 PM

Going down the stairs is the true test of bifocals, writes Kelly from Tehachapi.

"Either I feel as if I'm lurching forward too quickly or I have to look straight ahead and it causes me to miss steps altogether!" Kelly wrote.

This was a response to the column on visiting the stylish and serene optometrist's office in order to get bifocals.

A few days ago, I forgot to take off my bifocals and stepped off the back deck and missed the first two steps, fortunately catching the third one, which arrested my misguided attempts to continue my walk on air.

I've seen Poco, our blind chocolate lab, pull that off. However, she is like a car. She has four wheels on the ground at all times.

"My optician always looks cool and calm, never hurried or busy," Kelly said. "He is always smiling and gracious, as are the women in his office. I usually feel rumpled and inappropriately dressed whenever I'm there, which is ridiculous because this is Tehachapi and no one dresses up, especially not to go to the optician."

***

I've never have had a bigger response to a column than the one about soaking one's feet in vinegar in order to cure toenail fungus.

"I'm pretty happy with it," wrote Vince Bertolucci of the vinegar cure. "I soak every day for 30 minutes (he uses the same vinegar, even suggesting that he might try some on his salad). "I don't think it's cured, but it looks better."

***

Speaking of cures, how about October baseball?

October is when even the non-baseball fans come out of hiding to watch. The temperature, the three-day beards, the enthusiasm. The long summer march is over and only the sturdy remain standing.

How great is it to come home, pour yourself a glass of dark red wine and turn on the game? Any game.

***

Last Friday, when it was announced that Obama had been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, a woman I know sent me this e-mail

"Barry Obama is a bum.

"Like Jimmy Carter is a bum.

"Both campaigned for and won.

"A corrupted Nobel Peace Prize?"

It's a good reminder to reread Valerie Schultz's column last week. We can disagree -- and should -- discuss our differences enthusiastically -- and should -- but hate and bitterness puts us no closer to realizing the glorious promise of this great country.

We're better than that. I've drunk from the cup of bitterness in other parts of my life and it's never worked very well for me.

***

Lisa McIntyre had this suggestion about losing one's Bluetooth:

"Why not get one ear pierced with a manly, executive-style gold chain attached connecting lobe to blue?

"Start a trend fella."

Lisa, when I start a trend, people usually do the opposite.

***

My wife boxed my ears gently Sunday morning saying that I should have mentioned that she is the council person for Ward 2. I had written about the possible reopening of the Padre Hotel, which falls in her ward.

Having made this disclaimer, I still think if the Padre reopens, and its owners are able to manage it, the hotel could be a boost for downtown. There are some rather large "if's" here.

These are Herb Benham's opinion and not necessarily those of The Californian. You can contact Herb at hbenham@bakersfield.com or at 395-7279.

Advertisement