Herb Benham: Coming face to Facebook with your kids as friends
| Thursday, Jul 09 2009 05:35 PM
Last Updated Thursday, Jul 09 2009 05:35 PM
Awhile back I joined Facebook. As with Twitter, I'm not very good at it. I forget about Facebook until someone asks to be my friend and then I say, "Why not." It's not as if my cup overfloweth with friends anyway.
Judi McCarthy sent a note on Facebook etiquette as it concerns one's children.
"When I joined FB a few months ago, a peer explained formally to me, 'One does not 'friend' one's own children. One waits to be friendED.'" I took that to heart. My son friended me right away (although Kevin McCarthy got to me first, master of select friendships that he is). My daughter waited a long month. I could just imagine the wheels turning in her head as she weighed the "don't want to" and the "ought to" in that situation.
"Now that I'm friends with both my kids, I'm careful not to comment much at all about anything I see on their FB pages. I liken it to driving them in carpools years ago. As the parent-driver, you learn so much by sitting quietly (almost invisibly) in the front seat while they chat away with peers in the back of the car. Same with FB. Observe silently! (If you're ever friended, that is.)
"Judi."
***
Good news. Recently, I received a letter from Mark Hammond. Mark lives in Las Vegas and has recently returned from having made a movie in Australia. He seems to have spent more time in Australia than Hugh Jackman.
Mark and I have never met. That does not stop him from reviving our phantom friendship once a year. Mark has the slants and the name and address on the envelope appear to be the work of a much younger person. It's comforting to know that some people do not age.
What makes this letter exciting is that it seems Mark finished his series of movies in Australia and now has embarked on a different career.
"I've been talking at colleges about growing up in the theater and what theater was like back in the '50s and '60s, especially for kids.
"All the Best,
"Mark Hammond."
Progress. After 10 years, the window into his life appears to be ajar.
***
I had a moment of sadness when I heard about Michael Jackson's death. Five minutes. The tidal wave that followed washed away that sadness. It was enough to make you want to go into a cave and listen to the water drip from the ceiling.
It reminded me of four lines from "The Second Coming," the poem by Yeats (which I do not quote in an overly harsh way:
"The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
"The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
"The best lack all conviction, while the worst
"Are full of passionate intensity."
***
Back to the people who live quiet lives. This came from Patsy Sadler.
"My mother is 901/2. She was diagnosed last October with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, had her treatments, lived with my husband and me for about 45 days. She went home to live by herself again and is back to her normal schedule -- driving, cooking, shopping, and some light yard work.
"A couple of months ago, her oncologist told her she was in remission. That generation is TOUGH!!!! She has been to all "nine" continents (Patsy's mom is such a goer, she's been to two continents that are yet to be discovered) and I don't know how many countries, 60-70? She is the most optimistic person I've ever known."
***
Let's not forget proud mothers. Angela Blanco called to talk about her 10-year-old son, Andrew. Three years ago, Andrew was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia, cancer of the white blood cells. The first year was rough. Andrew spent a lot of time at Childrens Hospital Los Angeles and repeated kindergarten, where he received an award for "Most Sincere."
Monday, Andrew had a chemo treatment at Childrens and then returned to play right field for his NOR team. He got a hit. Andrew has six home runs for the Giants this year.
"He looks forward to putting on his uniform," Angela said.
Healthy now, Andrew looks like a real giant.
