INGA BARKS: "Science" not impressing me
| Friday, Nov 06 2009 04:38 PM
Last Updated Friday, Nov 06 2009 04:38 PM
I'm no scientist, though "science" was on my degree from Cal State Bakersfield. But I can tell you "science" has proven there is and isn't a God, the earth is cooling and warming, embryonic stem cells are worthless and have potential, and I should always...always avoid red dye number two.
I was maybe 5 when Walter Cronkite told my family, as we ate dinner, that we were going to destroy the planet in 10 years. I did the math and realized that science was saying I'd miss my senior prom!!! Maybe that's when I decided I wasn't a fan of science. In adulthood I gained a healthy respect for science, but am not impressed with what happens when politicians get ahold of it.
Politicians have a lot of time on their hands, but few convictions. So when "science" demonstrates something is dangerous, unhealthy or might just kill a lizard, politicians quickly create some law or tax to address the disaster. They then pass their new scientifically based edicts to "czars," who implement the plan.
Take the call for reducing electricity usage, which led to the California Energy Commission's proposal to require television sets be fewer than 60 inches in size. Or the rule that denies you a fire in your fireplace for MORE DAYS OF THE YEAR THAN WE ACTUALLY HAVE COLD!!!!
When California decided to limit calories in school cafeterias, my teen quickly learned to buy two lunches. This month CARB (California Air Resources Board) will vote on mandatory tinting on new car windows that deflects 40 percent of the sun's heat, thus making your car cooler, thus making your A/C work faster, thus spewing fewer emissions! If only science hadn't also found that this particular metallic tinting may prevent you from being able to use a cel phone, a navigational system, and your garage door opener! Ahhhh....science.
The University of California, Irvine recently used science to show 30 percent of us have a gene that makes us bad drivers. Awesome! Armed with my (assumed) genetic malady, I want my own lane, or a driver provided by health insurance!
Lawmakers must truly think the revolution was fought over tea because they spend a lot of time on petty things without considering the ramifications, like not being able to dial 911 from the ravine your car rolled down because the window tint won't let you dial out!
So here's my proposal: Stop slowly chipping away and just get rid of it all. When a patient has cancer, we don't tax them or make a law limiting the growth of their tumor. We yank it out! If TV is deadly, ban it!
If cars are killers, crush them! If cows make methane, mandate vegetarianism! Don't just fine me or limit me! Take it all for the sake of my children's children's children if you TRULY believe the science you are enslaved to.
I know I sound ridiculous. But so does the idea of educated adults in serious discussion about the earthly ramifications of a 50-inch versus a 60-inch TV set.
Inga Barks, who hosts a talk show on AM 1180 KERN, is one of four conservative community columnists whose work appears here every Saturday. These are the opinions of Barks, not necessarily The Californian's. You can e-mail her at ibarks@ bakersfield.com. Next week: Ric Llewellyn.
