Inga Barks

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INGA BARKS: Some new laws read like a nightmare, not dream

| Friday, Oct 14 2011 04:00 PM

Last Updated Friday, Oct 14 2011 10:12 PM

First, a very sincere and heartfelt disclaimer:I acknowledge that many laws are written by well-meaning lawmakers, inspired by a tale of woe. Many bills that hope to become California laws begin with personal experience in which someone fell through a legal crack, and the new laws seek to remedy those loopholes.

I myself was inspired by the passion of a Bakersfield teenage rape victim who wouldn't let her story be ignored. At 15, she testified before the state Senate about being given a date rape drug, and then assaulted multiple times, learning later there was nothing in the books regarding teen rapists who drug their victims.

We made her story national to bring pressure to Sacramento, and passage of Dylan's Law is one of the few moments in my career when my father's mandate to "Make yourself useful" came to fruition.

So some laws are good.

Having said that, when we pass laws, let them be in the interest of the community and NOT a political or emotional whim. After all, every law limits freedoms, costs taxpayers money, or does both.

With that, I give you the following commentary on my favorite laws recently signed by Gov. Jerry Brown:

AB 131, the Dream Act, not to be confused with the federal Dream Act, which requires young illegal immigrants to join the military or jump through other hoops to prove they want to be part of this great nation, or the first Dream Act signed by Brown, allowing those in California to obtain private grants and scholarships.

Assembly Bill 131 allows illegal immigrant students to apply for taxpayer-funded Cal Grants. Therein lies the problem. For us legal immigration supporters, there is a principle at stake. But beyond that, AB 131 has no funding mechanism for the increased number of students who can now apply.

Republican presidential candidate and Texas Gov. Rick Perry said people who oppose the Dream Act have no heart. To him I say A) Who said college or college tuition is a right? B) (Here come the hate letters) If illegal immigrants who brought their children to the United States did it for the noble cause of giving their kids a better life, did they NOT consider setting some money aside for college or perhaps applying for a loan? It happens all the time here in the land of opportunity. It's how I got through college!

AB 433 is pretty special. It makes it easier for a person who was born one sex but changed to another to amend their birth certificate to accommodate the new sex. No word yet on laws to change those naked baby pictures, yearbook photos or the birth video, but there's always next year!

AB499. This school year, students were sent home if they had no proof of a whooping cough immunization. The only other option if a child wasn't immunized was for a parent to sign a waiver. Regardless of our personal opinions on vaccinations, this is a parent's right. Parents have the right to opt out of measles and hepatitis vaccines, chicken pox and whooping cough.

But not anal warts.

Nope! Thanks to AB499, a child as young as 12 can be given the HPV vaccine without their parents' consent or knowledge.

And speaking of parental rights, thanks to another new law, your child younger than 18 can't use a tanning bed even WITH your permission! Sure, kids may be a walking whooping cough cootie factory, but they won't be spreading the papilloma virus at 12 and they sure as heck won't have a tan!

In 2012, certain unlicensed drivers won't have their cars impounded by the police. This law, written by Assemblyman Gil Cedillo, has been hailed by immigration advocates because they say impound fees are particularly difficult for people illegally in this country who need their cars to get to work. So while we licensed drivers are being told to carpool, take the bus or ride a bike to work, the unlicensed driver gets special dispensation because we're such delightful hosts to our foreign national friends. (Do NOT call me racist for opposing this law. After all, there's only one ethnic group targeted by the tanning ban, and If my kids have to be pasty, the least an unlicensed driver can do is NOT DRIVE!)

And finally, there's the ban on carrying an unloaded hand gun on one's hip. I guess this law was in response to all those who fear getting pistol-whipped or having a revolver thrown at them (there's not much more one can do with an unloaded gun).

Having been a licensed gun carrier since 2005, I will tell you I am much more afraid of those who illegally pack under their belt than those who are showing what they have. Since the new law excludes shotguns and rifles (long guns), don't be alarmed if you're standing behind some guy with a 20-gauge on his back in line at the Starbucks. He's just making a point and I'll drink to that until caffeine is banned as a health risk, of course

-- Inga Barks, who hosts a talk show on KMJ AM 580, is one of three community columnists whose work appears here every Saturday. These are Barks' opinions, not necessarily The Californian's. Next week: Ric Llewellyn.

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