RALPH BAILEY: Emotions demand no mosque, no "n" word
| Friday, Aug 27 2010 04:21 PM
Last Updated Friday, Aug 27 2010 04:21 PM
I need you to focus on me: Ralph Bailey, 48-year-old African American, radio talk show host, columnist and overall good egg. Don't think about the "black community" or the black guy at your job or Jesse Jackson or even Barack Obama. Just me.
Partly because I dig the attention, I am a Leo, but mostly because perhaps by living through me I can bring home the similarities in using the "n" word and building a mosque near the site of ground zero in New York City.
Stay with me!
Seven out of 10 of us believe that the Cordoba Project, at least, is an insensitive plan that spits in the eyes of those still struggling with the horrific attack on our country.
Despite the fact most folks against the project concede Muslims have a constitutional right to construct a mosque anywhere they please, we still believe just not near ground zero.
We understand the demands of religious freedom call for this nation to support the building of the mosque, we still believe just not near ground zero.
We've embraced the idea this sends a mixed message and sets up a double standard. We still believe just not near ground zero.
While our "fearless leader" in the White House plays the cowardly lion and refuses to discuss the intelligence of such a project, Americans from Bangor, Maine, to Waikiki are livid. Americans who experienced no loss that dreadful day save the death of dignity for their nation remain adamantly steadfast in the belief... just not near ground zero.
Meantime, in terms of the "n" word, I've never understood Dr. Laura Schlessinger's argument that white folks should be able to use it because some blacks do.
Some blacks wear their pants around their thighs but you won't see my underwear!
And I'm confused at the desire. Why would you want to use such a vulgar, disgusting word? And are you really telling me you're ignorant of the connotation in which African Americans use it?
Among blacks the word is used in a variety of ways but mostly out of affection and never with the ending "er" but with "a." The phrase "You will always be my nigga even if you don't get no bigga" (I cleaned that up) is one most blacks grew up saying while most white people are reading it today for the very first time.
Double standard? You betcha! But you just can't say it.
If I go into a bar and tell the bartender I just slept with two women, I'm a stud (and a liar). If a woman does the same, she's a tart, a tramp or even worse.
Does white America have the right to use the word? Of course! You just can't say it.
Does it fly in the face of everything this country believes in in terms of freedom of speech to deny the use?
Yes.
But you just can't say it.
No one wants to revisit the reasons this word makes black folks' blood boil when emitted by anyone outside the black race. But suffice it to say our experience the first couple of centuries here will be seared in the memories of blacks for generations to come.
Blacks will never just "get over" slavery, government-led lynchings or systematic oppression that caused a mild-mannered secretary to be jailed because she wouldn't give up her seat on a Montgomery, Ala., bus.
Just as we scratch our collective heads and wonder, "Why ground zero?" I must ask, "Why the "n" word?
One would think reasonable folks would say, "If it bothers you that much, we'll put it to bed. We'll stop using it." The exact logic we hope rules the day in the end in New York.
Why do blacks use it? Because even vile words used in the right connotation can have a non-pejorative meaning.
My mother constantly used to tell the story of how her preacher father baptized my dad when he was a little boy. Finally, in front of a group of their friends, she told the story again and my father retorted, "Yeah and the nigga tried to drown me."
It's just not as funny with "and the brotha tried to drown me" or "my father-in-law tried to drown me."
I get what Dr. Laura was trying to do. In fact, I've dropped the "n" bomb on my radio show to highlight the double standard, for if my fellow KNZR radio host Jaz McKay did the same, he'd be looking for a job.
But just as common sense will, in the end, put the kibosh on building the mosque, let us bid adieu to the use of the "n" word as well and be sensitive to black folks' feelings just as we embrace the feelings of those connected to 9/11.
Ralph Bailey, who hosts a talk show on AM 1560 KNZR, is one of four conservative community columnists whose work appears here every Saturday. These are the opinions of Bailey, not necessarily The Californian. You can e-mail him at rbailey@bakersfield.com. Next week: Heather Ijames.
