Valerie Schultz: Us vs. Them is kind of the way of the world — but does it have to be?
| Tuesday, Feb 10 2009 09:25 PM
Last Updated Friday, Mar 27 2009 01:27 PM
“But I know that one and one is two and if this one could be with you, What a wonderful world this would be … ”
— Sam Cooke, “Wonderful World”
We’ve had a moment of euphoria in these United States. A groundbreaking president is inaugurated, and the multicolored patchwork of faces in the huge, friendly crowds makes us proud to be Americans.
We share a national identity. The peaceful transfer of power is an indication that our democracy works. The country celebrates its unique place in the history of nations. We are united in our desire for peace and prosperity.
At least, for one day. Then we are back to the usual business of finger pointing, blaming and general noncooperation. We are split in many factions, Us vs. Them, depending on which group you are affiliated with at the moment.
Do we erect the barriers between us based on politics? Religion? Race? Salary? Education? Neighborhood? Diet? Astrological sign? All of the above?
We have so many differences from those others. In the Us. vs. Them scenario, we are the enlightened ones, while they are the ignorant ones to be pitied and even feared. We have it right. They obviously do not. This formula applies to any rift between opposing groups.
Perhaps it is the American way. Our country, after all, was born of a war between us and them. We (colonists) thought they (the British) were treating us poorly and taxing us unfairly, and so by violent revolution we threw them out. We Americans have always driven ourselves to be the biggest, the brightest, the best. We thrive on competition. It got us all the way to the moon.
Or perhaps all countries are this way, sectioned within themselves. There is certainly no lack of civil wars around the globe, demonstrating that Americans have no monopoly on the concept of Us. vs. Them. Whenever the group in which we count ourselves as members can demonize the group in which we see no place for ourselves, the potential for conflict grows. And when we plant God on our side, and presumably godlessness on theirs, the potential for fanaticism grows. Wars become crusades.
Us vs. Them frequently pops up in our mundane daily lives, too. A few months ago, I sat next to a man at a meeting at work. We had not met before. We got to talking about second jobs, and I mentioned that I wrote for the newspaper.
“I don’t get The Californiananymore,” he said. “It’s too liberal.” He looked at me sternly. “Are you one of those?”
Was I? I thought for a moment. On some issues I am quite liberal, but on a few others I agree with conservatives.
“You probably wouldn’t like my column,” I said.
That was the last we talked. There we were, side by side, Us vs. Them, and there were only two of us. He managed to switch his seat at a break.
On another, more recent day, I went to work mourning the death of John Updike, a legend of American writing, which I had read about in the morning paper. My co-workers, however, were talking only about the previous night’s episode of “American Idol.” In this case of Readers vs. TV-Watchers, I was in the minority. I had to understand that we all have our own ways of relaxing. But when all is said and done and the singer-du-jour has been chosen by cell-phone-voting fans, I wanted to ask, what will our country do without John Updike?
The gap between me and them did not close. But the fact that we work well together and care about each other, in spite of the diverse ways we spend our free time, is perhaps the true lesson. I can offer my own living room during the Super Bowl as a lighthearted example of Us vs. Them, as Cardinal fans and Steeler fans rooted against each other, the unifying factors being that they also shared guacamole and laughed at the commercials together.
As we learned in 2001, it often takes an enormous crisis to pull us together. After the attacks of Sept. 11, there was no Us vs. Them in the United States: We were all Americans, pulling each other out of the wreckage of our complacency, gathering our resources to share with one another, all the while knowing we would deal with “them” later. A mini-crisis in any community — an electricity outage, a bad storm, a traffic accident, a funeral — has the power to bring residents together to provide for the common good.
If only we citizens of the world would reach across our divides on a regular basis, not because of some tragedy, but because it’s the right and civil thing to do. If only we did not require the shedding of tears before being able to grasp the concept of unity. If only our circle of us could expand widely enough to welcome them, embracing their strange looks or foreign ideas. After all, we are, to a person, fellow members of the human race. If only each of us would be the first to extend a hand in friendship to even one of them. Then, as the song lyrics say, “What a wonderful world this would be.”
