Save the first dance for daddy
DANCE: Families return every year
| Sunday, Jan 31 2010 09:00 AM
Last Updated Sunday, Jan 31 2010 09:00 AM
GO &DO
What: Father-Daughter Valentines Dance
When: 7-10 p.m. Friday
Where: Activities Building at First Presbyterian Church, 1705 17th St.
Admission: $5 per ticket with a family maximum of $15
More on the dance from coordinator Diana Shaw: Attendees are asked to bring a favorite cookie or treat to share; coffee and punch are provided. There is no age limit -- young and old alike are welcome. We have a great DJ, Peter Wonderly, and photographer Randall Barker. Prizes include Disney tickets for four. This is not done by just the two of us (Laurie Hettinger is co-chairwoman); it takes a small army of hearts and hands to pull this off each year and that's usually where the moms come in. They decorate, bake and help clean up year after year.
Coordinator Diana Shaw writes about the genesis of the dance:
What started it all was a dad who had two quite young daughters, and as we often do with our children, we envision their future.
He became a little worried at the prospect of them becoming of dating age and wondered about the young men who would come a courtin'.
The idea was to create an event for dads to have the opportunity to instill in their daughters what their true value is as young ladies growing into women, to show them what a "date" should be like. In these times, with the media telling our girls what they should want to be like,where and with whom they should look for love, these dads are saying it's OK to be you, and I love you just the way you are.
The evening encompasses all the elements. The dads ask the daughters to go, the dress is purchased, the flowers are ordered, the dinner is planned, and a transformation takes place in the hearts of both dad and daughter: Wow, this is my dad and he thinks I am special, special enough to go to all this trouble.
Over time, what happens is these dads set the bar pretty high for any young man who has his sights set on their daughters.
A girl's daddy leaves pretty big shoes to fill, as many boyfriends and husbands eventually discover.
And that's exactly the thinking behind First Presbyterian Church's annual Father-Daughter Valentine Dance, now in its 13th year. After all, what better way for a girl to learn how a guy should treat her than from the first man in her life?
"There is just something about daddies and their little girls -- it's magical," said co-coordinator Diana Shaw via e-mail. "In two days time, our gym is transformed from a boring sports facility to a place dreams are made of, complete with a lighted heart that propels you onto the red carpet and takes you inside where balloons, candy, tulle, hearts and fluff are all that you see. My favorite part is being at the door seeing the littlest of girls approach with their daddies, and as they get closer their eyes get bigger."
Shaw says a number of married women who attended the dance throughout their childhood return every year with their dads.
"We have seen dads as old as 80-plus years old and daughters as young as 3 days old pass through those doors. There are also daughters who have lost their dads, and for them this has become a way to stay connected to those memories. We have seen men with no daughters bring girls with no dad."
An unforgettable dad and daughter
One father-daughter story brings tears to Shaw's eyes to this day. Shaw writes:
"It was 5 p.m. on the night of the dance, and a dad came in, frantic because he had been told we were sold out. His daughter had heard about it and was dying to come and he just could not disappoint her. I had sold all of the tickets, but told him to come anyway -- we turn no one away. Later that night I was working the door with (co-coordinator) Laurie. We saw the dad. He was wearing a tuxedo, so tall and handsome, and with him was his daughter in a beautiful dress herself. The girl was in a wheelchair. She had cerebral palsy and could not walk. That dad took that wheelchair right up in front, where they spun and danced the night away."
Two pairs of fathers and daughters were kind enough to share memories of their annual date night.
The Chesneys (David and daughter Megan)
David: My daughter and I have been attending the Father-Daughter Dance at First Pres since the very first year. Megan was about 6 or 7 when we first attended. Back then, she didn't really like to dance, so I would twirl her around the dance floor, holding her most dances, occasionally talking her into dancing something that resembled the Twist. Most of those evenings were spent enjoying the cookies and punch as we sat at the table watching the big girls dancing with their fathers. As Meggie grew, we spent much more time on the dance floor, eventually getting to the point where we never sat down, dancing every dance. By the time she was a senior in high school, Meg and all her friends would dance in a circle with all the fathers dancing around outside their group, everyone joking and laughing, enjoying being together.
Another hightlight is the opportunity for dinner out with my lovely daughter. In the early years, we would dine just the two of us. The last several years, we've gone with a group of our dear friends, enjoying the opportunity to tell and show our daughters how truly precious they are. Now my daughter is a freshman at Cal Poly SLO, but she's coming home in February to keep our annual date. She insisted, and I am thrilled to oblige. We look forward to another memorable evening.
Megan: I think the Father-Daughter Dance is just a wonderful time where girls can spend quality time with their dads. Going out to dinner with your dad, dressing up and dancing really make the night special. We've been going since the first dance when I was a little girl and I still enjoy the once-a-year chance to just hang out with my dad. Watching other dads dance can also be really funny! And that's why I keep going and why I'm coming home for it this year. I enjoy the tradition and the chance to wear a pretty dress! I also think it's a great ministry and social opportunity -- not only to catch up with friends -- but also to have church members reach out to new people. It's rare that a father and his daughter(s) get to spend one-on-one time with each other, and having a church open its doors for some quality fun is really special.
The Littos (Joseph and daughter Sara)
Joseph: The Father-Daughter Valentine Dance is so special to me because it represents one of the many opportunities I have as a father to show my daughter what an amazing gift she is from the Lord. I look forward to our time at dinner, taking pictures together, and dancing the night away. Although the song "Butterfly Kisses" always brings me to tears, it reminds me of how fortunate I am to be in her life and to have her call me dad.
Sarah: I enjoy the fun time I get to have with my daddy. I love picking out a pretty dress that matches my dad's crazy tie that's different each year. It's special because it's me and my dad having a fun time.
