Alton Brown's caveat for his audience reads a bit like a Gallagher show, though the entertainers' materials are vastly different.
The demonstrations in "Alton Brown Live: Eat Your Science Tour," which kicks off its latest leg in Bakersfield March 14, are not for those dressed in their date-night finest. The television personality, author and Food Network star said these presentations are quite involved and "potentially dangerous."
"If you're going to be in the first couple of rows, do not wear anything that can be dry- cleaned. Messes are made. Closed-toe shoes, no open sandals.
"I’m not going to pay anybody’s dry-cleaning bills."
But audiences shouldn't be surprised by the television host's no-nonsense attitude, which has been on display for years, first in his series "Good Eats" and "Feasting on Asphalt" and as announcer for "Iron Chef America" and host of "Cutthroat Kitchen." His wry humor is also evident in his writing, including the James Beard award-winning “I’m Just Here for the Food” his latest, “Alton Brown: Every Day Cook," and his active and unique social media presence, which involves replying to fans by tweeting photos of hand-written sticky notes.
"As for keeping day-to-day track of fans, Twitter is magnificent, simple and easy," he said in a recent telephone interview.
This tour, his second after 2013's "The Edible Inevitable," is much of what fans would expect: two-plus hours of cooking demonstrations combined with comedy, music and puppets. Bakersfield kicks off the tour's second leg, which will cover 40 more cities into May.
Along with the demonstrations, some of Brown's activities require the assistance of volunteers. While he would not divulge what exactly he looks for in selecting his culinary assistants, he did say he'll pass on those who've imbibed too many adult beverages before the show.
"I can tell the difference between excitement and inebriation."
In promoting the tour, he has promised "you’ll see things I’ve never been allowed to do on TV." Of course it's all still family-friendly, something he values as a performer.
"I believe in family entertainment. All the members of the family can experience that together. We don't have as much of that in our culture as we used to."
He said he's spotted several generations of families in his audiences and is keen to keep viewers of all ages entertained.
"I want people to leave and say it was a really fun two and a half hours. ... There is no agenda other than have a good time."
Where should Alton eat?
Since the Bakersfield show kicks off the tour's second leg, Brown and his crew will have time in town before he hits the stage.
"We’ll be there for several days. I will have intimate knowledge of the Bakersfield food scene."
Like he has done on the previous portion of this tour, he put out a call for dining suggestions, including coffee joints, casual eateries and spots for late-night, after-show snacks. The emphasis is on local restaurants and keeping it simple.
"We need a morning coffee place because I'm a coffee addict."
Brown, who is aware of Kern County's robust Basque population, is intent on sampling pickled tongue and the set-up.
"I'm very much hoping that my fans point me to the best Basque in the area," he said noting that he and his crew love when there's a "competition between restaurants or neighborhoods."
As to which restaurant (or restaurants) makes the cut, that's up for fans to help decide. They can make suggestions via Facebook or Twitter by including the hashtag #ABRoadEatsBakersfield.
So far there are only three recommendations on Twitter: Pyrenees Cafe, Moo Creamery and Too Fat Sandwiches, where he is encouraged to try the "Killer Pastrami."