Recently, it was Wool Growers for dinner. I assume most people in town have been to Wool Growers, but given that it is perched on East 19th Street, the East part may scare some off. If “East” deters, then they might be unfamiliar with the bustling hub of restaurants in east Bakersfield that …

I started January with two things: muffins and “True Grit.” They seemed related and I thought it might make sense trying to figure out why. If they weren’t, both were worth talking about anyway.

I’ll bet you didn’t know there were dental implants available for $350. I’d been quoted around $1,500 per implant, but a billboard on Interstate 5 near Downey suggested I might be overpaying should I pay that much. I didn’t know if the implants were made of Halloween wax or PVC but $350 seem…

Don’t let Joan Garibaldi fool you. Sure, you might hear about her charity work, her mothering and grandmothering skills, her hospitality and her proficiency in keeping a bunco game together for 58 years since 1959.

Last week, we took the photo for the family Christmas card. Although it sounds simple, given the digital pool of pictures from which to choose, a good family photo may be more difficult to produce than getting into vet school.

A few weeks ago, the printer at home stopped working. I am the IT man in our house, which sounds good but it isn’t. Dante’s description about the entrance of hell also applies to me being the IT man: “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.”

All safaris start with good safari wear and I couldn’t wait to wear mine. I had a tan tracker shirt and tan pants, both with multiple pockets in which the brave tracker can stash ranch-flavored Corn Nuts should he have to distract an angry rhino who is hot on his trail.

The rest of year, it’s nothing. Not nothing, but almost nothing. Near enough to nothing that when I drive by the fairgrounds in February, May or in the dead of August, I am flooded by memories of the fair in all its homey, corny and magnificent-in-its-own way glory.

If, when I die, I end up in music heaven, my requested lineup will be the Grateful Dead (Jerry Garcia intact), Crosby Stills Nash (with Neil Young) and, as the opening act, the Cordovas. But luckily I don't have to wait until I punch my ticket to enjoy one of those acts, since the Nashville-…

Bear with me, this piece could run awhile. Grandparents' Day, which is Sunday, is hard to keep to 500 words. Five hundred words is a warmup. Five hundred words is a throat clearer because any grandparent worth his or her salt could go biblical in length and Al Michael in superlatives.