"Noises Off," the fall theater production that starts Thursday at East Bakersfield High, is a bedroom farce that is the funniest show I have ever been associated with.

Because my dad, Al Gaines, teaches at East, I've practically lived at the school all my life. I even got to sing "The Bare Necessities" on the school news show, "EBTV News," when I was 8. But currently I am living what I believe will be my most amazing and long-lasting memory of all.

"Noises Off" is a play within a play. Act one is the rehearsal of a show called "Nothing On" the night before opening.

My character, the stammering Garry, plays another character, Roger in the "fake" play "Nothing On." So Garry is an actor who plays a real estate agent named Roger, romancing a co-worker named Vicki, played by a dumb blonde named Brooke, played by my personal friend Cassidy Nelson. You can see the confusion that can occur.

As act one starts, it is revealed that we have had only two weeks to rehearse and, as such, the show isn't going well. We go through the entirety of the first act of the fake play "Nothing On" with many mishaps.

Act two begins with the entire two-story, five-ton set flipped around, revealing the backstage. Now we have gone to a month into our run, and the cast has gone from loving the experience to hating one another. Since we're backstage, everything has to be silent, but there is still hilarious drama, with an axe appearing, shoelaces tied together, and a cactus, concluding in a shocking revelation.

Act three is the last leg of the run, and we again see act one of "Nothing On" from the front side of the set. Everything has fallen apart, all due to a single plate of sardines.

-- Kyle Gaines is a student at East Bakersfield High