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Benham: Astronaut's story brings vital lesson ... on diapers
| Thursday, Feb 8 2007 6:50 PM
Last Updated: Thursday, Feb 8 2007 9:47 PM
The astronaut story.
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That breaks new ground.
Would it be accurate to say that it was the first love triangle outside of the convalescent industry where two of the three principals wore diapers?
Lisa Nowak, a NASA astronaut, recently drove 900 miles from Houston to central Florida reportedly armed with a BB gun, brand-new steel mallet and four-inch knife and wearing NASA-issued diapers to avoid bathroom breaks.
She was after a Florida woman she considered her rival for a fellow astronaut.
Terrible tragedy? Probably for the family. For the rest of us, it was educational.
Educational and impressive. Nowak squeezed 900 miles out of a pair of diapers, exceeding the previous record of 220 miles or "I forgot the little man was still in the back seat."
Adult diapers are normally a hush-hush sort of subject. Diapers are relegated to the beginning and end of life. When people can't help it and when people can't help it.
Diapers are not the stuff of inspiration. Plays are not written about them. Songs are not sung lauding their contribution to society.
Diapers might even be a relationship killer for some of us. Knowing that the person you are in love with and who is sitting next to you in the cockpit may be wearing them.
How could you look them in the eye? Take seriously what they were saying about the carnage in Iraq or the seeming impossibility of getting a grip on global warming.
You'd be looking at them and thinking, "Are you doing what I think you're doing right now?"
When a baby is doing what you think he is doing, when they have that "I'm a million miles away" look on their face, that child is completely marginalized.
I was surprised that Nowak wore a pair of adult diapers on her trip to intercept her rival, Colleen Shipman, a 30-year-old Air Force captain. Aren't those classified? Can you wear a pair of NASA-issued adult diapers outside of Cape Canaveral? I thought you had to be on a moon shot.
Surprise turned to gratefulness, when I thought about driving to L.A. Road construction on the south side of the Grapevine, suffocating traffic backed up to Magic Mountain topped off by a cup of morning coffee. I don't know how many times I've wished I was in the space program.
Had I known Nowak could wring 900 miles out of a pair, at least we could have made Gorman without diving into a Chevron or a Starbucks. We would be waving to people with that happy look on our faces.
What a boon for pregnant women. I talked to a friend of mine who had a baby a couple of years ago. You think that drive to L.A. is bad for men? How about when the baby's doing kick turns.
After the astronauts, we may never be able to look at love triangles the same way. Diapers are a different story. We could be banging on the wheel, singing their praises.
Herb Benham's column appears on Sunday, Tuesday and Friday.