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Grandparents parenting again
| Saturday, Sep 9 2006 6:15 PM
Last Updated: Saturday, Sep 9 2006 6:26 PM
This isn't how Susan Brizell expected her life to turn out.At 53, Brizell is raising three children.
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She is not their mother.
She is their grandmother -- and their sole provider.
"It's definitely not where my life was supposed to go," said Brizell, who lives in southwest Bakersfield. "I didn't choose to have three children on my own."
Grandparents who raise their grandchildren often face a host of problems and challenges, especially if, like Brizell, they fall above the poverty line and miss out on public assistance.
Brizell took in her grandchildren -- Amber, 10, Ashley, 6 and Eric, 4 -- after her son died in 2002. He was living in Arizona, Brizell said, and the children's mother had left the three with social services in that state.
Brizell said she "drove right over and picked them up. What can you do?"
In the 31/2 years since, Brizell said, she has had to give up a well-paying job as an anesthesia technician to care for the children. She moved the family from a studio apartment in the Los Angeles area to Bakersfield, where she could afford to rent a house. She now struggles to pay her bills, including rent. In June, she was nearly evicted.
"We scrape by," Brizell said. "My money will run out. It just won't last forever. ... It's really scary."
But "they're children," she said. "They're your grandchildren. You have to do it."
Nearly 21,000 Kern County grandparents share their homes with their grandchildren. Of that, 47 percent have taken on full parental responsibilities, according to the U.S. Census Bureau in its 2004 American Community Survey.
For a grandparent, raising a grandchild can be a challenge.
"So many times, it's unexpected and they're unprepared. They step up to the plate but they're not prepared to raise a child today," said Debra Welch, director of Community Action Partnership of Kern, which serves low-income and elderly residents.
"For many grandparents, it's been 30 years since they raised children. A lot of things have changed," she said.
Raising a grandchild can put a "huge strain" on a grandparent's finances, said Charee Gillins, a spokeswoman for AARP in California. "Their income is already smaller or fixed," and now they're faced with paying for the day-to- day care of young children.
Cecilia Broussard of south Bakersfield certainly wasn't living extravagantly when she took in two more grandchildren, Erika, 10, and Isaiah, 5. A new homeowner, she had started making improvements to her house, like installing new kitchen cabinets and buying a couch.
"I had not purchased living room furniture in 20 years," said Broussard, 50.
Then last spring she received a call from the Buena Park Police Department in Orange County. She was told the children's mother, her former daughter-in-law, was going to be arrested. Come get the children, the police told her, or they will be placed in a children's home. The children's father, Broussard's son, had been in prison since August 2004.
"I almost hit the floor, I was shaking so bad," Broussard said.
A third grandchild, Chris, 14, was already living with her.
Broussard said the additions of Erika and Isaiah to her household have ruined her financially, even with the income she draws from San Joaquin Bank, where she processes construction loans.
She receives $600 a month in aid from the Kern County Department of Human Services. That's for food, child care and other expenses.
Her grocery bill alone is $800 a month. Child care is $265 a month.
Broussard can't tap into her savings account. She drained it the first month Isaiah and Erika came to live with her.
Broussard looked for affordable child care -- a process she described as frustrating.
She called state preschools, which are free to eligible families. She said they told her, that at 5, Isaiah was too old to enroll.
Over the summer, Broussard's sister and former sister-in-law took care of the kids when she was at work.
"If I didn't have my sister -- I don't know -- I get the chills just thinking about it. I'd be bad off," Broussard said.
Now with school back in session, Broussard has enrolled Erika in after-school care at Plantation Elementary School. It's free, "thank God," she said.
She can enroll Isaiah in the same program next year, when he is in first grade. For now, she sends him to a private preschool in the afternoons at a cost of $265 a month. She refinanced her home to help pay for it.
To Broussard, it feels like the government is telling grandparents who raise their grandchildren: This is your choice; you're on your own.
"I'm just asking for a little help," she said.
If the children were in foster care, she added, all taxpayers would be paying for their care.
Steve Sanders, administrator of Community Connection for Child Care, said he understands where Broussard is coming from. There are working parents in the same boat, he said.
"It's something we wrestle with a lot," he said.
Another hurdle Broussard has had to jump is filing for legal guardianship of Erika and Isaiah.
As their guardian, Broussard would have legal and physical custody of the children. She would make decisions concerning them, effectively removing their mother from the equation.
Unable to afford an attorney, Broussard tried to petition for guardianship on her own, but ran into obstacle after obstacle.
After hitting dead ends at Greater Bakersfield Legal Assistance andthe Office of the Family Law Facilitator at Superior Court, she contacted the District Attorney's office and asked if anyone there could help her file for guardianship. She said an "angel" in the office told her to contact the Center for Equal Justice.
She did and, within 15 minutes, the paperwork she needed to complete was done. She spent $250 and was reimbursed by the county.
Broussard is now awaiting a hearing Monday to find out if she has been named the children's guardian.
Meanwhile, the children's mother will begin a 60-day jail sentence Oct. 3 for drugs.
Expensive proposition
Brizell figures she has spent $50,000 since her grandchildren came to live with her 31/2 years ago. Some of that money went toward trying to gain guardianship of the children. Some went to paying for her son's burial.
Two of her grandchildren receive a total of $1,000 a month in death benefits; the third, the oldest, was not her son's natural child and isn't entitled to the same benefits.
Although only 53, Brizell received special permission to start drawing from her private retirement benefits. Her income now totals about $2,350 a month. Her expenses include a car payment, utilities, food and rent, which is $1,400 a month.
The family lives "very carefully," Brizell said.
She doesn't work, she said, because she can't afford private child care.
She said she called local state preschools about enrolling 4-year-old Eric and was told there is a two- to three-year waiting list.
Brizell is frustrated she can't be deemed the children's foster parent -- and collect the monthly payments that come with that designation.
Grandparents can become foster parents, but there are stringent requirements that many don't meet, said Candis Gibson, program director at the Department of Human Services. For one thing, the children have to be dependents of the court.
"It's just the way the law is," Gibson said.
If Brizell were their foster parent, she would receive payments ranging from $425 to $597 a month, per child, according to the Department of Human Services.
Brizell believes grandparents raising their grandchildren are a forgotten group. Public assistance, she said, is scarce.
"There should be more for grandparents," she said. "There should be foster care for grandparents."
Gibson said a grandparent in Brizell's situation might qualify for other public aid besides foster payments. The Non-Needy Program, for instance, provides financial aid to relative caregivers, like grandparents. The caveat is that the children's parents would have had to qualify for CalWORKs, a California welfare program.
The $600 Broussard receives each month comes from the Non-Needy Program.
Brizell said her income is too high for her to qualify for assistance.
Financial worries have taken a toll on Brizell's health.
"I have heart problems. I have a lot of emotional problems I didn't have before," she said.
Brizell, who is originally from Liverpool, England, said she doesn't have any other family to turn to for help.
"The children don't either," she said.
Where to go, who to call for help in raising a grandchild
If you’re a grandparent struggling to raise a grandchild, the following agencies and nonprofits may be of assistance.
Community Action Partnership of Kern
Services: Child education and development services for children through 5 years old, including Head Start, general child care, migrant and home-based programs; food bank; health care for low-income residents, including newborn physicals, well-child assessments and immunizations; referrals for food, clothing and adult education.
Contact: 336-5236
On the Internet: www.capk.org
Community Connection for Childcare
Services: Subsidized child care; child care referrals; financial assistance for child care. Contact: 861-5200 or (877) 861-5200 (toll free)
On the Internet: http://kcsos.kern.org/cccc/
Center for Equal Justice
Service: Prepares petition for guardianship.
Contact: 328-1900
Greater Bakersfield Legal Assistance & Seniors Law Center
Services: grandparent guardianship program — prepares guardianship petition; will go to court in some cases; referrals to other resources. The program is available to seniors 60 and older. Another program, the Guardianship Self-Help Center, is available to all ages. A paralegal provides one-on-one assistance. The center is at the Family Law Facilitator’s Office at Superior Court. Contact: 325-5943
On the Internet: www.gbla.org
Kern Senior Collaborative
Services: Referrals.
Contact: 835-7625
On the Internet: www.kernseniors.info
Kern River Valley Family Resource Center
Services: Family advocates work with families one on one to let them know what resources are available, help children obtain insurance, connect family with Greater Bakersfield Legal Assistance, direct them to the Department of Human Resources for aid, let them know if they’re eligible for food stamps, etc. Will drive family to appointments, if necessary. These services are available to Kern River Valley residents. In addition, through the Kernville Union School District, there is a support group for students from non-traditional households.
Contact: (760) 379-2556
Kern County Department of Human Services
Services: Needy/Non-Needy Relative Program — caregivers receive what would be the welfare payment for the child, ranging from $378 a month to $689 a month; Cradle funding —finances certain expenses grandparents can’t afford, like music lessons. Only open to relatives eligible for public assistance; Medi-Cal insurance for children; support group for caregivers that meets quarterly.
Contact: 631-6000
On the Internet: http://www.co.kern.ca.us/dhs/
AARP
Services: Referrals to local resources.
On the Internet: http://www.aarp.org/families/grandparents/
PG&E and Southern California Edison
PG&E Programs: CARE — provides monthly discounts; FERA — allows for more electric use at lower rates; Balanced Payment Plan — customers pay the same amount each month, based on their average energy use for the year; REACH — financial assistance for customers who have suffered a sudden, unexpected financial hardship; Medical Baseline — assistance for customers who rely on life-support equipment; Energy Partners — free weatherization program; LIHEAP — federal financial assistance program.
Contact: For most of these programs, customers can enroll by calling (800) 743-5000. For Energy Partners, call PG&E’s Smarter Energy Line at (800) 933-9555. For the CARE program, call PG&E at (866) 743-2273. To apply for Reach assistance, call the Salvation Army at (800) 933-9677.
On the Internet: http://pge.com/res/financial_assistance/
SCE Programs: CARE; FERA; Medical Baseline; LIHEAP; Leval Pay Plan, similar to Balance Payment Plan; Energy Assistance Fund — provides assistance in paying winter electric bills; Energy Management Assistance — SCE pays the cost of purchasing and installing energy-efficient appliances and equipment.
Contact: (800) 655-4555
On the Internet: SCE: http://www.sce.com/RebatesandSavings/LowIncome/