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Grieving parents talk about son's sudden death, BCHS support
| Tuesday, Aug 19 2008 6:50 PM
Last Updated: Wednesday, Aug 20 2008 8:17 AM
Diane Allen has no regrets about how she raised her son Patrick because he always knew how much his family loved him.
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Patrick Allen's parents, Robert and Diane Allen, reflect on their son's life while talking with a reporter. Patrick died of undetermined causes earlier this month, according to the Kern County coroner's division.
A baby picture of Patrick Allen, who died earlier this month from undetermined causes, according to the Kern County coroner's division. Family and Bakersfield Christian High officials believe his death was at least partially heat-related.
Patrick Allen
And she hopes his death, following a Bakersfield Christian High School football practice, will remind people not to take loved ones for granted.
“We knew this before because we are a close family, but I would like to remind parents to love their kids, spend time with their kids. And kids, respect and love your parents and spend time with your parents,” she said Tuesday.
“Tell them you love them every once in awhile,” said his father, Robert Allen.
Patrick, 17, was going to be a junior at Bakersfield Christian, where he played varsity football and junior varsity baseball, when he collapsed after football practice in 100-degree heat Thursday and died on Saturday.
Coroner’s officials said after an autopsy Tuesday that the cause of death was pending toxicology results and a review of medical records. His family and school officials believe his death is at least partially heat-related.
Patrick did not have any known pre-existing medical problems, the family said.
He did have an irrepressible smile, even if he was getting ready to tackle someone, they said.
“He loved to play the game, but you could tell sometimes he just didn’t like hitting people too hard because he didn’t want to hurt them,” Robert Allen said.
His brother, Michael, said he was always jealous of his little brother’s athletic ability and loved going to his games. He said
Patrick would only take a few days off before starting to train for the next season.
Last year Patrick was a center and defensive tackle for the varsity team during the playoffs and was proud of his Central Section Division V Championship ring.
“For him to not be able to participate in a sport, it would have killed him. It really would’ve,” Robert Allen said. “That’s what he lived for.”
The family did not express any anger over Patrick’s death, and instead focused on the positive support they have received from the community, especially from the staff, parents, coaches and students at BCHS.
On Friday, after Patrick was pronounced brain dead, his family walked out into the hospital hallway and saw it “lined with blue and gold,” his mom said.
Coach Doug Barnett had stopped practice to let his players go to the hospital, Robert Allen said.
“I know it had to be hard on them. I don’t know whether I could have done it when I was that age, to go to a hospital after I learned that a friend had passed away, and try to deal with the grieving parents,” Robert Allen said. “Those boys helped us so much that night.”
After football practice on Thursday, his dad said, Patrick called and complained of leg cramps, so he advised his son to pull over and wait until the cramps subsided. After about 15 minutes, Robert Allen picked up his son because he was still having cramps.
When his dad got Patrick home around 7:45 p.m., he was having trouble walking. He sat on the couch drinking water and Gatorade. His dad helped him stretch and got ice water towels to keep his body temperature down.
“But he did not have an altered state,” his dad said. “He was fine, talking to us. Everything was OK, other than the cramps.”
The cramps stopped, and Patrick took a cold shower. Afterward he told his dad his legs felt weird. He sat down to watch the Olympics and started vomiting shortly after, which is when his parents called 911. He passed out but before the ambulance arrived, he was able to nod his head to his dad’s questions.
At the hospital on Friday, he had surgery to relieve pressure on his brain, his family said. Friday afternoon he was pronounced brain dead, but the official time of death was 9:25 a.m. Saturday because he was an organ donor.
His family said Patrick was very religious and they believe he is in a better place.
“It’s hard for us to accept that, but we have to, and we have to move on knowing that we’ll see him again someday,” his father said.
His family hopes the team will be able to win the state championship this year because that was his goal.
BCHS president Daniel Cole said the family has been courageous, especially when Robert Allen addressed the football team.
“It is that mentality, it’s that type of attitude that characterizes certainly the parents’ courage,” Cole said. “We need to honor them and their son by moving on, and being as courageous as they are.”
St. Luke’s Anglican Church will have a private memorial service for family and friends at 9 a.m. Thursday. Another service will be held at 2 p.m. at BCHS. The family would like donations to go to the American Cancer Society Relay for Life.